not in the most brilliant of mood. what a rush of mixed emotions. like the thunderstorm that’s raging heavy lashes of wind and rain down. like the fire that’s burning every goddamn thing away. and like the tornado that’s tearing every piece apart, breaking anything that comes into its way.

i’m in that moment. the moment between dream and reality and it’s like all it takes is one push for me to be back to reality but i can’t take the plunge.

i need more ciggs. please. puff after puff i’ll take, intoxicating myself within the smoke, drowing myself with tar. and i’ll pick up the liquor and i’ll drink till i’m drunk cos there’s no more reason to be sane anymore. and maybe i’ll meet someone who saves me from my insanity. or maybe i’ll finally let someone in within my insanity.

help.

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