There was a book i read once; Veronika Decides To Die by Paulo Coelho.
I decided to read that book because i was having suicidal thoughts and i figured i should read that book and maybe find out why Veronika was having the same thoughts as me.
So why did Veronika decide to die?
Well, it was simple. It wasn’t because she was depressed over love. Or depressed over life. She just felt that life was monotonous, that everyday was the same. And she didn’t want to live anymore because there was just nothing worth living for.
Quoted from the book,
Thats why I was crying. When I took the pills I wanted to kill someone I hated. I didnt know that other Veronikas existed inside me, Veronikas that I could love.
I think it just sums up why people commit suicide. Well, one of the reasons anyway.
When we are unable to accept that we are not perfect and we have flaws and we cannot forgive ourselves for the mistakes we have made.
I remember reading somewhere about breakups. That when you breakup, you have to learn to forgive the other party. And, most importantly, forgive yourself, so that you can successfully let go and move on in life.
I find it easy peasy to forgive other people for their mistakes. But strangely, i find it hard to forgive myself for the mistakes i have made. I do not know why.
Alan says people commit suicide when they are unable to let go.
It isn’t easy to let go, i can tell you that. Me for example, i have held on way too long for my own good. Take Luke for example, it was never easy letting him or our relationship go. But where has it brought me? Well, nothing good i can say.
I don’t really know what’s the purpose for this post. I’m just typing away with whatever comes by.
People call me emo. They say i have such emo blog posts. I don’t think i have. I think i just think a lot. Unecessarily, and not for my own good.
It’s not that i don’t like talking either. I just like being in my own silence, collecting my thoughts.
You can never get silence anywhere nowadays, have you noticed?