I hate it whenever I break down and people tell me to be strong. I don’t want to be strong, I want to fall apart. But I’ve come to realise that there really isn’t much anyone could have said at that point in time.
Like today, i really wanted to express my care and concern and love and comfort Jun with all I’ve got but all i could muster was a “be strong girl”. It pisses me off, lest to say. Sort of like slapping your own mouth, if you get what I mean.
Humans are such complicated creatures, aren’t we. We all have words in our hearts that have trouble spilling out. And as a result, saying things which doesn’t really express what we really feel, and keeping it all within us. Only exploding at random moments before we once again regain our reposed composure. When really, we are just dying to cry out in anguished agony our true heart’s silenced words.
And that is why I blog, or rather, write. Because God gifted me a tad too much sensitivity and all I have are my words. My words, this love. And why yes, cigarettes and alcohol too.
Goodnight. Tomorrow will be a better day, I promise.