Sometimes i feel like i’m not enough, i feel like i’m not pretty enough, not skinny enough, not smart enough, not happy enough, not confident enough, not mysterious enough, not original enough, but not normal enough either.
Other times i feel like i’m too much… too intense, too emotional, too self-conscious, too self-absorbed, too open with my thoughts and feelings, too easy to get to know, to easy to walk over, too easy to forget, too boring, too much like everything and everyone else in the world.
But i want to feel just right. I just want to feel just right for someone, just for once. Just. And everything i’ve ever seen and felt keep making me think that it is just too much to ask for being just right. And i really hate that, you know? I really hate being reminded constantly that i’m just not perfect for anyone i’ve ever met.
I want to be someone to remember, a song or a poem that people memorise, a day or a night they never forget, a moment they want to relive, something they wish would never pass, a place they want to visit again and again, an act of kindness, a ray of sunshine, a kiss on your forehead, someone stroking your hair, a gentle touch, a balloon you spot in the air that someone let go, a reoccuring motif, that reminds you of God.