The occasional tears

I hate Autumn.

I hate how everything dies during this season. How everything I love dearly leaves me. Like we never existed, like we never mattered

When once we were gold, when once we were whole.

Thought this year’s autumn would be different, but every year they turn out the same. Same tears on different people. Same fears for different purpose.

Every single time it happens, I want to shout at Jas. Tell her I know how she feels, that’s she not alone, that I’m with her through it all no matter.

But she’s dead, dead 2 years ago in an autumn where the leaves dropped a perfect shade of auburn and the birds sang in unison. And I want her back so badly.

And…. let’s hit restart..

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