Insecurities

Overwhelmed.

That’s what I feel these days.

My mind seems to work on auto-pilot and I can’t get it to shut off. Feeling an influx of words all swarmed in me but there’s no outlet for it to flow out.

Can’t pinpoint what all these emotions are.

Maybe a better description would be impatience.

Impatient at how slow my growth is. Eager to seek out new experiences, people to satisfy the gnawing thirst for something more.

Lay in bed thinking about loneliness. About the varying degrees of loneliness. Like how we can be in a room filled with people and yet feel so small and insignificant.

I hate loneliness. But I promised myself that I would try to work my way around it. To never again use someone else to try to make me feel whole again. Because feeding off someone’s presence to temporarily fill the void just doesn’t work out.

And I hope a year later when I look back to this day, I would see a different me. Hopefully a better me.

Because no matter how big or small, as long as we’re moving forward we’re one step closer to who and where we want to be.

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