I Keep Having This Dream

you know, i keep having this dream.
in it, you are smoking your
last cigarette. in silence,
you watch the crumbling of ash.
all the time, i had my eyes on
you. so fragile and thin.
like second-hand smoke,
i breathe you in.

you know, i keep having this dream.
in it, darkness enshroud and we
share a kiss. not then, but
i realise it now;
the smouldering smell of wildfire
burning, my breath when our lips touch.
like a phoenix rising from the ashes,
subterranean love on fire.

you know, i keep having this dream.
in it, you stand quietly in front of a
drawer full of clogged words.
lifting your hands as if in prayer,
you spit out heartfelt words that
never stood the test of time.
i hold your hand and you whisper in
my ear:

it was only a dream.
just like you.

– e.s.

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