Just like that, my childhood buddy grew up, found the love of her life and got married. It’s astonishing how a simple union between 2 people would require such extensive planning and involve this great amount of people.
E started planning for her wedding almost 1.5 years before the big day. Getting married had always been the biggest item to be checked off the bucket list, and she wanted it (near) perfect. I guess perfection, to a certain extent, runs in the family. I recall the months leading up to her wedding. It seemed like the day would never come yet as we fervently looked at our to-do list, we knew we were running low on time.
26 November 2016 was the day E & R picked to wed. A week before the wedding, I fell sick. The weather was erratic and rained even though warm, sunny days were forecasted. The house was a mess. There were still lots to be crossed off of the to-do list. The night before the wedding, it rained while the groom was out decorating his car. There was panic, frustration, and finally, resignation.
Then came the glimmer of hope. The rain stopped.
It was a surreal moment as I stood by the groom’s car collecting my sister’s wedding dress. The future had arrived. I was living in the moment I had been dreaming about. The long wait was in that very present and would soon fade off into the past.
People ask how I feel watching my sister plan, get married, and finally move out of the house. To be honest, it is a complicated feeling and I face trouble putting it to words. It feels sort of like graduation day. You’re happy and proud, yet at the same time, a hollow ache punctuates the side of your ribcage. You feel dumbfounded and bewildered that it has all finally come to an end.
I laugh along with everyone but the truth is that I spent 3 weeks before and after her wedding, crying myself to sleep. It’s not that I’m sad or hurt. There was a huge sense of loss and I wasn’t sure what I had to do to fill the space again. Maybe I’m just wired that way – an entanglement of logic and tenderness. A coping mechanism, perhaps?
I guess what they said was true. That you can mentally prepare yourself for many things in life but most times, you will never be ready when it comes and what it will do to you, emotionally.
I’m the sort of person who fights hard for the people I love. During our younger years, I fondly recall standing up for my sister whenever I felt she was getting bullied in school. Even though the same blood flows within us, we’re 2 individuals with opposite personalities.
My sister is, and will always be the more patient, milder child. Looking at her glow in the brightest of all smiles, I knew it was time to hand over the baton. I’d done my part to protect her during the last 28 years, and now, it was time for her to spread her wings and fly off into a whole new world.
(All photos used are courtesy of Reddot Studio)