Protected: Broken trust and broken hearts.

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The Difference

You know the difference between good and bad, right and wrong. No matter how much the voice inside your head tries to fool you, deep down, you know how your actions will affect the universe around you. Obey the silence inside. Ignore the noise.

- Via iwrotethisforyou

The Truth Spills, A Heart Breaks

I attempt to write but i am stuck in a rut. It comes as no surprise though, cause right now in my life, i’m caught in one of the biggest decision that could alter my path drastically in the future to come.

I am twentytwo but i feel weighed down by the many choices i have made over the years. Some decisions turned out good, while most others, never fail to make me wonder how much life could have been different if i took another turn instead.

Of course, there’s really no point in crying over spilt milk. What’s done is done and all we can ever do is to just pick up the pieces and move on.

Fragments of my heart lay scattered. Broken, weary to continue existing. It’s not even about giving up on life or being suicidal. It’s being tired of actually waking up every morning. Afraid of the future, afraid of making more wrong choices down the road. Afraid of facing consequences i cannot bear. Afraid that i am just plain not good enough.

This decision has cost so much anguished within me. When i probe my heart for an answer, all it does is let out an audible sigh before settling back in the comforts of its sadness.

I don’t want to look back 20 years from now and regret not taking a stand right here and now. In the end, we know ourselves better than people will ever know about us. They can tell us to do certain things, or advice us. But you can bring a horse to the well but you can never force it to drink.

Lies are told every second. Truth is exposed in time. A heart break is forever.

I know how it feels like to be lied to. Believe me, i just got first hand experience from someone i loved and trusted. And i hate every part of it. Every. Fucking. Part.

I would love to pretend and lie and be back with you. But we know the truth will reveal in time to come. Somehow. I’m sorry your heart break will be forever. I know how it feels, because my heart break is forever too.

Maybe one day i will look back and regret the decision i made today. Yes. No. Maybe? No one will ever know till the day comes.

Till then, goodbye for now.

The Art of Breathing

And in the beginning, my lungs had too much air in them, whenever you were near, like I could never breathe out enough.

And in the end, my throat closed, whenever you were far, like I could never breathe in again.

- Via iwrotethisforyou

Oscar Wilde once said “Nowadays, people know the price of everything, and the value of nothing.”

- The Rum Diary (2011)

30 Days!

Day 10- Songs you listen to when you’re Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad

Happy – Life is Beautiful – Vega 4

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Sad – The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot – Brand New

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Bored – Bubble Pop! – Hyuna

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Hyped – I Am The Best – 2NE1

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Mad – 我怀念的 – 孫燕姿
I don’t know what songs I listen to when I’m mad, but this often helps in calming my soul.

30 Days!

Day 09- Something you’re proud of in the past few days

Myself.

Yep, narcissist as it may seem, I am indeed proud of myself. Come mid-March, I would be working in the company for a year. My first full time job yo. heh.

Work’s terribly busy. Submissions after submissions, piles of work to sift thru, research to be done, notes to be jotted down.. and the list goes on. But i persist on, as do everybody. And we toll hard, but hey guys, don’t forget to let loose those wild things inside you yeah?

I’ve had my share of mistakes; getting yelled at my the boss, feeling like crap, wanting to cry, being the sai kang warrior, etc etc. Who doesn’t? But hey, I have indeed learned so much during this 1 year. It has been an amazing experience.

I love my job, I really do. and erina? I’m so proud of you too.

Leavin’ me stranded,
All in love on my own.
Do you think of me?
Where am I now, baby, where do I sleep?

— Closer, Kings of Leon

Oh yes, you do.